Adventures in Dentist-land

I love going to the dentist. I'm not talking 'fond'; I LOVE going to the dentist. There is no greater feeling than fresh, clean teeth but leaving the dentist is like getting a whole new set. The sun shines a bit brighter and for just a moment the angels harmonize on The Office theme song. That's my Heaven, OK? Don't judge. I know there are some of you out there that 1) don't go every six months (SHAME!) or 2) hate to go with a passion. If that is you, here is what you're missing.

My alarm beeps at 8 a.m. A sound that is normally the bane of my existence, I welcome its insistent chirping on this particular morning. I leap to my feet, face my mirror, and greet myself.

"Good morning you beautiful, sexy thang. Why hello teeth! My, you sure do look rough this morning! Calm your fears. Today is all about YOU."

I brush with extra vigor this morning making sure to hit every corner and crevice. Then, comes the floss. I only floss twice a year...the morning of a dentist appointment. Why? You'll find out later.

I drive TWO hours to see my dentist. He's been my main teeth man since I was five. No one knows these beauties the way he does. It's a marriage, my teeth and Dr. Meyers. From now on, refer to my teeth as mini Mrs. Meyers.

As I stroll through the door, I am a sight to behold. The epitome of good dental care. A breeze catches my brunette locks and the sun glints of of my mouth. I can hear a sharp intake of breath from the waiting patients. She's here. But today is not about me. Today is about my teeth.

I don't wait. Carmen is waiting for me. Today, I am the princess. I stroll to the back past all familiar faces. The dental hygienists call out my name and greet me. By the way, have you ever seen an ugly DH? I think it's like a rule or something.

Fast forward an hour. My teeth are perfect. Everyone has said so. I am the 'never needed braces' kind of person. Rare, I know. They have a new polish and gleam, and I can hear them rejoicing in my mouth. Today couldn't be more perfect. No cavities here. I used to be cavity girl, but no more. My DH comments on my excellent flossing, too. Sucker. Twice a year, baby!

My dentist loves me. Seriously, if I weren't a Red Raider, he would probably adopt me. Don't be fooled by our witty, cantankerous banter. This man wishes he could see me every day. We discuss life and God. I teach him about celebrity behaviors and how all white sneakers are NOT his thing, and he teaches me some Bible scriptures. You may think he's the more holy one, but my lessons are really important too. I ask him about the whole Jessica Simpson not brushing her teeth debacle and he agrees that she's disgusting.

There you have it. See what you're missing? It's like going to a revival, you leave feeling fired up. For weeks, I will commit myself to clear liquids and proper brushing and then lose my steam. It's all good though because I am a unicorn of dental purity.