Wednesday, December 14, 2011

ONSD: Pinterest

If you know me, you know that I'm a gusher. Over-exaggeration may not be my official middle name but that's because "Drama Queen" is hogging that space.

That out of the way, let's just say that I love Pinterest and take it as face-value without the 17 paragraph love fest that I've been known to partake in.

I was going through all of my boards recently and patting myself on the back for being an oh-so-fabulous pinner. I spent a solid 30 minutes (alright an hour and a half) gushing over wedding/love boards (and hot celebrity boys), and had an honest-to-Bette Midler epiphany. I realized that should any potential husband (ok, ALL single men are potential husbands to me) see the estrogen-charged activity my boards display, I would be screwed. Any male possessing a masculinity score somewhere between Richard Simmons and Hulk Hogan would pack up his sanity and hit the road after just one sniff of all the glitter and puppies my page oozes.

So, for the sake of all single women out there, it's time for a new Oh No She Didn't.

It's quite simply really - no song or dance. Just one solid rule.

Under no circumstance, are we to ever encourage the straight male population to create a Pinterest account.

EVER. And if you're sitting there doubting me, consider this. Why is the site invite only? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT'S GIRLS ONLY!

Don't talk to guys about how awesome it is unless you're creating a visual in their heads that everything on the site is shirtless guys, cupcakes, and DIY projects. Oh wait, it is. Never mind.

Pinterest is sacred land, ladies. Feel free to pass on what you learn through P-fab (just made that up) to boys, but never make them think they can have one. Because they can't. I don't want my crazy out there for my first-third husbands to see, ok? Have a heart, and help a sister out.

Or I will Photoshop your face onto a herpes ad... and Pinterest it.