Change my name to 'Miss'...just 'Miss'

I have been a teacher now for six whole weeks, and I am only just now getting around to an update.

Most importantly, I have not injured a child...physically. I make no promises about emotionally. The way I see it counseling is dirt cheap these days, and I don't really care if I hurt their feelings. I say it all out love because, yes, they do really DUMB things.

I've learned a few things.

Number 1: Homework is a big no-no.
Take my word on this one, folks. Reason 1, they are NOT going to do it. Reason 2, if they do, I have to grade it. I'm more concerned with the latter.

Number 2: Teachers LOVE to gossip.
I have found "my people."

Number 3: If you have graduated from college and you are single/childless, you should just kill yourself.
Direct. Freaking. Quote.

Number 4: I have begum dreaming about retirement, or an on-the-job accident.
Do not judge me.

And...Number 5: Jersey Shore has infiltrated high schools.
I wish I were making this up. Alas, I am not. There are moments when I can literally smell Ed Hardy's stench, and I have Snookie's little sister in at least three of my classes. Something must be done, people. Should you like to donate to this cause, contact Focus on the Family or the 700 Club. I can feel an underground revolt brewing in their top-secret headquarters.