Interesting Person #4

Hello friends.

So I've searched the earth far and wide to bring you IP #4. OK, that's a lie; I haven't really looked at all. However, one did just happen to appear. I will warn you, friends, this is not a happy tale. It is not sad. It is creepy. That's right. I've decided to give you a brief insight to what a creeper magnet I truly am.

A lovely Sunday it was. The sun was shining and off to Barnes & Noble did my roomie, Katie, and I trot (drive) to study. All seemed well. We didn't have to fight any junior high students for a study table. Which brings me to a brief point. If you are one of those inconsiderate tools sitting at a study table drinking a cup of coffee/laughing at a decibel not fit for human ears while you can clearly see two young ladies lugging heavy bags with laptops and books in search for such table--MOVE! I will not apologize for giving you the stink eye or for making you the subject of a defamatory blog. Anyways, back to the subject. We found a table...with an outlet. Big deal, actually. While setting up our materials, a guy (I can't say man because I don't think he qualified, but he wasn't a boy) turns and begins small talk. We respond thinking he's just friendly. Well, friendly he is. So friendly in fact that one could assume he might have a girl shoved in his trunk! I don't know how this always happens to me! This makes twice in the past week I've had to dodge a creeper. While I'll be the first to admit that the female gender can be crazy, obsessive, dramatic, emotional...blah blah blah, all of that in no way entitles a guy to be a 'Ted Bundy'. I don't know if you've been watching The Bachelorette but that Kasey character is case and point number one. Crazy much?! And Ali didn't even flinch at the tattoo. I guess to spare his feelings, but if it had been me -- this is how that convo would've gone.

Crazy Kasey: "I got a tattoo to prove that I'm here 'to guard and protect your heart'."

Me: Security! We've got a crazy bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleep over here! Listen, Kasey, you need to check yourself into an asylum. Give me your shoelaces, Kasey. Don't fight the straitjacket."

Done, and done. Girls, don't spare their feelings. When they're creepers...call them out! You wouldn't beat around the bush with an alcoholic or a guido would you? No. Stop doing these creepers any favors and send them to a support group.

So there ya have it. IP #4 is Mr. Creepy-shove you in a trunk-dude.

Have a BIG day, and don't forget your pepper spray.